Oy, vey, the man is keeping me busy. Last night, Tom, Gail and I did a signing for the “Top Chef” cookbook at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square, NYC, and had a great turnout—more than 350 people. I don’t care if you’re a Pulitzer Prize winner, there is no author who goes to one of these without fearing nobody will show up. So thanks to those of you who came! We had a lively Q&A about the show, about food and about dirty words.

And so, I figured, since so many people have questions, another trip to the mailbag would be fun!

Cynthia of South Carolina writes: Has anyone ever refused to eat something prepared on the “Iron Chef America” show? I am watching you on the “Iron Chef” battle between Chris Cosentino and Mario Batali. Some of the ideas that Cosentino came up with are just nasty. I mean, a pigeon head? Ewwww.

Ted replies: I hear ya. On “Iron Chef” and “Top Chef,” my job requires me to be relatively brave, food-wise, but there are a few things that make me squeamish. That pigeon head—actually, half a pigeon head, which was sliced perfectly in half, including the beak—is one of them. I took a teeny nibble of the brain, if memory serves, and called it a day. (Of course, Cosentino is a mighty chef—that was a great meal, overall!)

Generally, I hate it when people challenge your machismo with nasty foods—eating monkey faces and vulture necks is Anthony Bourdain's job, not mine. But sometimes, it's unavoidable—especially abroad. (People lovvvve to mess with the tourists!) Last summer on a trip through Vietnam, Barry and I visited a fruit farm. The farmer sat us down and gave us shots of a brown, foul-smelling liquid, which, of course, we were obliged to drink. Nasty. Then, he brought out the huge glass jar (above photo, left foreground) the liquid had come from, and we saw that it contained about 40 dead snakes, steeping in rice wine. Oh—and a dead bird. I can’t believe we didn’t hurl. Worst, he then offered us another shot, and we felt compelled to accept. In Vietnam, this snake wine is thought to make you strong, virile, etc. Didn’t work on us. 

Melissa writes, regarding my haiku about Zoi’s departure from “Top Chef” that ended in the line, “One lesbian left,” and speculation by viewers that in fact there may still be additional, less-vocal lesbiana in the cast: Couldn't "One lesbian left" mean one lesbian left the show?

Ted replies: As opposed to “only one lesbian remains"? Genius. That didn’t even occur to me.

Michael J. writes, regarding the Quickfire Challenge on “Top Chef” last week, in which chefs were blindfolded, fed high-quality and low-quality examples of several foods, like maple syrup, and then asked to decide which was better: I'm probably just being crotchety at this point, but do you also feel that price is a valid indicator of quality?

Ted replies: Actually, that bothered me, too. Price alone does not guarantee quality--not at all. I suspect, though, that the producers felt it was the quickest, simplest way to distinguish between the higher and lower quality items. TV oversimplifies a lot of nuances. For my money, I would rather eat pork shoulder, at $2 a pound, than beef tenderloin, at $20. Many of the cheap cuts have much better flavor.

 

Christine writes lots of questions ranging from lawsuits to cigarettes, and I’ll answer a few of them, to wit:

Christine writes: Do you know if any of the “Top Chef” competitors will be coming to the Food Network?

Ted replies: No.

Christine writes: Was Tre the class act as he seemed in the editing in Season Three? His recipe for shrimp and grits gets HUGE raves for all our parties.

Ted replies: Yes, and Tre killed as a sous chef on “Iron Chef,” too. A class act, a seriously focused man, a real artist.

Christine writes: Explain how the chefs who smoke cigarettes can claim any sort of palate?

Ted replies: Actually, having had my own struggles with coffin nails over the years, I’m glad you asked this question. First, of course, cigarettes are bad. They’re fatal. However, there are an awful lot of great chefs who smoke and still manage to be great chefs. I do think that if you smoke immediately before you taste something, it would definitely taint your palate (just as it would to drink whiskey or eat a jalapeno or breathe the air in downtown Bangkok). But long term, I don’t think it makes you incapable of tasting accurately. Of course, you can’t taste very well when you’re dead, either. So quitting is clearly the way to go.

Lastly, Christine writes: Did any of the cast members of “Queer Eye” date each other?

Ted replies: Ewwwwww.

What’s on your mind?
E-mail Ted and he’ll answer you in his blog.